Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Eeyore and Pollyanna Go on a Cruise

If I could just get my expectations out of the way, life would be much easier. I often think about sending my expections away for a holiday cruise on a ship that never returns. The expectations may take the form of a well-known historic person or fictional personage and I could say goodbye to them while standing at the pier.

My expectation that my MS symptoms will never loosen their grip sounds like Eeyore to me----you remember, the donkey from Winnie-the-Pooh. He's always grumbling and moaning about how bad everything is. As he climbs aboard the cruise ship still complaining, I would wave au revoir.

When I read about CCSVI I sometimes fantasize that I'll have a procedure done and all my MS symptoms will suddenly disappear. That sounds like the movie character Pollyanna played by Hayley Mills who, when faced with a potentially bad situation, proclaims that everything will come out perfectly fine. I'll wave arrivederci to her too.

Expectations don't exist in present time. Of course my mind creates the thoughts and when I catch myself musing over them, it is very present time. However, the expectations are about events occuring in the future. And I don't have the ability to see into the future, so my expectations are really just dreams or meanderings of my train of thoughts. Some are good and some nightmarish.

Whenever I go to a yoga class I make a concerted effort to banish all expectations from mind. Otherwise my ability to be present and participate in a meaningful way goes out the window. Most often I really benefit from yoga class and, at the conclusion, feel so much calmer in body and mind. Could it be that because I entered into the activity without preconceived notions of how I would feel during and after, the result of the endeavor was fine?

Who knows if that's true but I'll continue waving goodbye to Eeyore and Pollyanna before yoga class.

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